And Here is the news........

A long long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile, And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance And maybe they'd be happy for a while. But February made me shiver
With every paper I'd deliver, f**king papers ! Bad news on the doorstep (about wobbers, wapists and wolfys )
I couldn't take one more step ( bad piles) I can't remember if I cried When I read about his widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside ( love balls) The day the music died.

After the funeral, there was a small wake for the music, where people arrived and eat salmon based pastry products while standing on one leg and miming the whole second psalm of the 5th testicle of the bible.

This lasted for approximately 5 hours 3 minutes and 23 seconds before the remaining people at the wake were eaten by Giant rabbits that had hired the room for 4 pm and were particulaly pissed off that the wake had overun so they ate everyone - leaving only their socks for the police to gain identification.

The Giant Rabbits had got the room for a carrot convention, where they were to discuss taking leagal and strike action against the EU who had recently ruled that carrots were too orange and should infact, in accordance with EU regulation 5432.3A be in fact grown using pink carrot food to make he final product blue in colour. The head Rabbit, that is the leader of the rabbits, not just a Rabbit that consisted of just a big head, was outraged at this thought wanted to make the Rabbits strike. The local government were really quite worried about the affect on the local economy if the rabbits were to strike - especially on the cake icing demographic.

The Giant rabbits were origibally bred by Squirrel farmers in Shropshire

TBC

THE BOYS A NUT, NO IN FACT HE IS A F**KING COCONUT !!!

Wibble

striking rabbits........you have to swerve quickly tho!!!

So Any way the rabbits held a poll and decided by a verdict of 5 point 3 million to 1 that there wuold be a country wide strike over the carrott colouring issues.

The 1 vote against was a 3 footed old blighter called Gavin Rabitzinski - and he was colour blind so he really couldn't give a toss. He had only 3 legs after cutting one of his feet off so that he could us it as a lucky keyring for his car keys. Turned out it wasn't so lucky as the next day his wife Beryl trashed his car - and then ended up sleeping the the Black watch fire brigade that came to cut her out of the wreckage - ending up in a seven on one bukake experience - whatever that might be. Their relationship was never quite the same after that.

So news quickly spread through the halls of local and eventually national government that there was to be a strike. The news broke on Sky and then rippled through the Internet and into the printed press. The public were in shock. Those that weren't sobbing started to panick buy all the Iced cake and puff pastries that they could, lawlessnses broke out spiradically around the country as bakers and tea houses and scone dealers gradually ran out of stock.

The rabbits by this time had setup picket burrows - to ensure that the strike was water tight. And the PM was off to Europe to discuss the whole carrot colouring matter.

The rioting did die down for a while, but the government felt it necessary to enforce marshall law. There would be an 8 O'clock curfew where no one was allowed on the streets after this time, nor where they allowed to use mobile phones nor dress up as Marvin Gaye or any of the blue peter dogs - past or present. Anyone who could see well, tasted Ok in a stew or had large front teeth was rounded up by the police using their new ant terrorism laws where they could retain anyone who looked a little like a rabbitt for 75 years with charging them.

Famous movie stars like J Lo and Charlie Chaplin made appeals on UK television for the rabbitts to come back to the table and discuss the issues before any further fondue fancies got unecessarily hurt. The Rabbits stood firm. The Head rabbit was really quite cross - you could say he was hopping mad, at the accusations being thrown at the rabbits for causing the unrest - and his attitude was that there would be no negotiating, no movement and the cake icing production would not start again until the EU granted the carrots their orange status back.. Oh and banned all Fergal Sharkey records from the shops - this was bolted on by a small rabbit known as Barry the sqealer, to the requests after Barry found some uncompromising pictures of the head rabbit and young cheerleader rabbit from the previous years Christmas party.

Barry wanted Fergal banned because of his recent demise to heart failure and the pain that this caused Barry - the 80s quiffed brit pop sensation had lost his long battle with heart pox and his wait for a transplant - surely he of all people should have known that A good heart these days is hard to find !!

Thats all now as it is time for lights out - but the story will contine next time. Until then goodbye.

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