Cavs UNT Match Report Number 1 - 18 / 4 / 2010

Buck Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:30 pm

Some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend. Legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the cricket passed out of all knowledge.

Until Sunday - and so it began.....

On a suprisingly warm and sunny day in April, faces that were familiar despite the months of absence, cast eyes upon each other once more - and friendships were rekindled with our summer friends.

Bucky and Micky took part in the pre match warm up known as the KFC method, and one by one people turned up in their vehicles of choice - mainly cars, apart Matt who arrived on a 2 wheeled motorised girls sex toy..

Tony won the toss and decided that during the hottest part of the day with the best light that we should stand in the field and that the oposition should have a bat... a decision that soon bore fruit... we soon had the opposition exactly where we wanted them hitting a 100 without loss - which was all part of the plan apparently...

JC and PP opened the bowling and early signs looked good - and then the game began...

From the start everyone had taken their instructions perfectly, we had decided to all field like Steve Rolf - so whenever catch came near it would be dropped - whenever a ball was struck towards us we would let it go. While none of us could reach the lowlights of Steves fielding performances... we all tried our best..

This included Micky - whose new magic gloves were actually non stick frying pans - thus enabling him to catch exactly errr nothing.. before getting "injured"

Eventually, after scoring something in the region of 4037, one of the oposition openers got bored and decided he wanted a cuppa so he retired - it may have been retired injured - it may have been retired uninterested, to be honest I couldnt tell because I was fielding in the compounds of the police vehicles by now...

After looking like we were to be set something in the region of 350, we brought on our secret new weapon, hard to tell his name as he was called everything thing from Bernhard to Berverly, who in between wides managed to take 5 wickets on debut .. the only highlight of a poor first day in the feild..

We did restrict in the end the opposition to 237 - before taking what something that loosely resembled tea...

We entered the pavillion, this year sponsored by BSE and imodium, with some amount of hunger - only to find that the firm favourites - the ham sandwiches - had been tampered with !! Someone, obviously, while brown owl and her new haircut, weren't looking, had emptied the contents of an elephants hankerchief into the ham sandwiches !! Obviously mildly annoyed with the tampering, Brown Owl tried to stay dignified and calm, simply passing the elephant nose glue off as picalilly ... suffice to say that most people smiled kindly at Brown owl in her "jenny from the block " two piece velvet trackie and moved quickly on..

Early cases suggest that the infect of Elephant flu has been restricted to the wooton area..

Something of a batting order was put together for us to chase the 237 required

We opened with both ends of the age scale - with Twatson accompanying Ross to the crease - helping him down the steps - and a brief pause while his "bag" was emptied

Ross started promisingly, but after a nasty "moment" where he thought he was back in the Crimean war, he swang too hard at an oncoming Russian at the seige of Sevastapol and the Russian - who later turned out to be a cricket ball, nipped past him and attacked him right in the bails..

Twatson - "the Cavs only opening bats man" looked amazingly unconvincing and soon followed, at number 3 we had the milk tray man batting for us - and he clearly had other places to be as he soon departed the crease - no doubt to slide down a pole, go though his back passage, and then show him the chocolate....

Moving on..

Micky the glassman made a brief appearance at four, being the member of a group of 1 so far to attend the duck club ...

At 5 JC went in and was soon joined by Gav on debut - Gav - looking like he needed 23 of the last 3 balls with every shot he took - didn't get 23 and soon trudged back - enter stage right the Buckmeister - who on departing for the crease offered his half smoked cigerette to a membr of the crowd and asked them to hold it until I got back...

Bucky was not destined for his normal quick return, and after JC was given out by Smirky " I don't give LBWs on Sundays" had given him out LBW, was joined at the crease by Micky spinner.

A fruitful partnership that must have been in the region of 50 was achieved with one batsman batting left handed, and the other batsman only having a left hand but batting right handed - the bowlers and the field were bemused..

Buck was eventually dismissed after charging at a ball, missing said ball, and said ball making contact with wickets..

Bernie, Matt and PP all added some more runs before we completed our failure - falling by around 60 runs in the end..

The only consolation was and is, that until later this year we still hold the cup..

A good day was had by all, and it is always a pleasure despite the result to play those fine fellows from Finmere.

Tony started his latest period in cherge of the Cavs in his normal fashion - losing.. and two new players joined the happy Cavs family with some success.

Post match drinks were taken and reflections made, and Smirky's latest dreams / visions were discussed and analysed. Brown owls new hat was observed.. and the Hayward wedding was discussed - with Bucky left puzzled how the lucky gentleman involved in the wedding hadn't heard the old saying that daughters always turn out like their mothers and done one... love you Brown " Jenny from the block " owl.

So now we wait for the dullness of the week to pass so that we can once again hope that the weather permits us to take part in our next match against another bunch of fellows from errrr well somewhere else..

Cavs unnoficial news team signing out .. until next week Tara a bit.

All opinions, thoughts, comments, and characters that are made up or fictional in the above literature are indeed all fictional or made up, despite any opinions thoughts, comments or characters that may resemble real opinions,thoughts, comments or characters in real life. All likeness to any opinion thought, comment or character that is made up to any opinion thought, comment or character that is indeed or may well be partially true in some way or another, is purely a flukey sort of coincidence, in the same way that bogeys sometimes taste of ear wax.